Uncommon Stories

Is Parenting Really An Issue?

These kids don’t need parenting more than we - their parents - do. What they need is good company. They don’t want to be talked down to, they don’t want to be ordered around.
Is Parenting Really An Issue?

We talk about parenting when we see messed-up kids in society. We judge the father and mother and every institution the child is in. The majority believe things will get better if the parents spend more time in their children’s life. But spending every second with your child and knowing everything he does is not a solution to this challenge. Parenting, the way most of us understand it, is not a solution.

I am not a parenting expert, and I don’t give myself a headache over learning all the rules of parenting. Apart from being an intentional father, I am a creative coach for kids. I run an unconventional organization for young learners.

Knowing that I do not have the training to handle kids, I catch enough up on Child psychology. And if I will write a book on all I discovered from my study, the title should be: Stop Parenting Your Kids. It Solves Nothing.

Parenting to most of us means knowing where our children are, what they are doing, and who they associate with. We labour to get them through the best education, and put our weight under their shoulder to ensure they become what we want them to be.

Action Always Speaks Louder

We want the best for the kids. They need to be protected from sexual immorality, drunkenness, and the bad association. But, look in the mirror, Mr. Moral Instructor, what do you see? We want a kid that is not wayward but our phone’s memory is lagging because of the amount of pornography you have in it. Adult content is what you call them. You so much like Football you stay out till midnight to watch Barcelona. And that girl you want to raise into a champion – the girl that should know that staying out late is bad – should understand that it is just football. We drink, we smoke, we follow damaged people online, and speak highly about them.

These kids don’t need parenting more than we – their parents – do. What they need is good company. They don’t want to be talked down to, they don’t want to be ordered around. If their grades are not good, they need someone that will ask: why are your grades low? The stigma is not something they want.

They want to play with you; to take your phone; to watch that video playing on your phone. If you stay out late, they are not as logical as you to make sense of it. The message is obvious: there is nothing wrong with staying out late. They may not drink and smoke with you today, but tomorrow will always come.

So, when people talk about Parenting, I remember the words of Sadhguru that says: Raise Yourself Before You Raise Your Child.

If you can’t parent yourself, you can’t parent a kid.

So, Is Parenting Really An Issue?

Ozii Baba, a TedX Speaker, is an Onitsha-based storyteller and social entrepreneur. He works directly with children and young people.

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